Have you seen sprigs of life/growth pushing through what might feel like a crushing season?These flowers and grass were growing through the crack in a large piece of sandstone (full pic at the end). I feel like this year has been the weight of the rock on me, but through that weight, I can see something beautiful within myself pushing through.
I took this picture while in Santa Rosa, NM this summer on a little nature walk around my parents house where I grew up.
.:preface:.
There have been some very real and important topics that have occupied national headlines this year (COVID, BLM, elections). I believe it is just as important to engage with your local community for a positive source of change. I take action through volunteering my time and resources into organizations that make a difference in our communities. Others might take action through engaging or promoting discussion, protesting, or a combination of means. It feels weird to do a catch up and not mention where I land on some of these topics, but it is a boundary I going to maintain with this space. Totally willing to hear your perspective should you wish to share it though. I think it's important to consider the beliefs of others whether you personally subscribe to them or not. I encourage you to take a bit of time to see how you are taking action to promote positive change.
.:end of preface:.
Since it has been a good bit of time, I thought I would do a catch up post on creative endeavors, life, and work. This is a Sarah Summer Highlight reel of my headspace.
Creative Endeavors:
Earlier this year, I picked stained glass back up. I have really enjoyed working in this medium. Making a pattern, selecting colors, thinking through texture and opacity. I kinda took some of the below pics at an angle.
I started out with these three pieces merging textile and glass together. I love these. I wanted to play off the repeating wave, color, and vibe. The rough texture of the frayed denim with clean lines of glass. I also like the versatility of styling with the textile over or under the glass.
I did trim the extra thread upon finalization. So uhh sorry if that was your fav part of the piece?
These two below are more literal landscapes based on a drive we took this summer.
If you follow me on instagram @sarah.e.marley, you may have seen a couple of my other pieces.
I had intended to launch a web shop in August or early September but knew going into final work deadlines I might end up in a place with competing priorities. There was a good chance I would be stressed AF to meet customer commitments and client commitments. I just don't need more stress in what is already a heavy season. So I put it on hold. Well now that my final deadline has past, I am ready to move forward. My webshop launch date is October 31st. Leading up to the launch I'll be releasing a couple of posts talking through the inspiration behind pieces.
I plan to utilize my webshop as the means in which I put into the world the things I make. Right now, that is stained glass. Part of what I enjoy, is figuring stuff out so who knows what that space will evolve into. :)
Life:
I ended last year and really started this year with a specific goal to show up for myself as a creative. Not everything has to be ground shaking, but every effort has the potential to push me a little further in the direction I want for me
I struggled through the summer time. I found myself returning more than usual what always been my safe space. My childhood home and my parents. This summer I also started therapy for a few areas I was struggling with: anxiety, depression, and just some self-esteem/worth issues. It's been really helpful. I would describe therapy as meeting with a facilitator who helps you get to know yourself better. It's easy to get caught in the obligations you feel you have to others, but not as easy to set intentional time aside to check in with where you are at and what is going on. You have to be your own advocate though. This summer I started to get very honest with myself on a couple of questions. What do I want? What are my big dreams for the future? What am I afraid of? This last one was especially important because fear has always played a large part in my life. Below are a couple of moments from this summer.
I helped my parents with the end portion of a sprinkler install on the side yard.
We got caught in a rain storm while playing the cities 9 hole course and took shelter in the tiny shack out by the furthest hole while the bulk of the short storm passed.
I was thankful for the rain:
1. We always need rain for the ranches.
2. After we made it home and the storm really finished up, I walked down to see our little arroyo running. I hold dear so many memories of watching the water run its course across the sandstone to the creek down below and playing in the natural pools with my big brother after rain storms. I miss this connection and access to nature.
We went hiking on one of my dad's friends' ranch. It was so inspiring, fun, and hot! My mom snapped a couple of pics unbeknownst to my dad and I.
After years of requests from my dad, I painted a rock leading to my parents house to look like a lizard. I had always been a little intimidated because it is a really cool rock, and I didn't want to mess it up.
Rough idea sketch
We made an afternoon of it. My dad ferried us drinks from the house on the golf cart and my mom kept me shaded.
Lizard Rock.
I had a work deadline creep up on me, 7/15/20. It was rough. After it passed I felt defeated.I decided to invest in a day with just myself and spent a Friday at Ojo Caliente. I soaked, sketched, and just did a bit internal reflection.
For a day pass you had to either book a private pool or a service. This was the view from the private pool I booked for that morning.
You may not be able to tell but I was smiling in this selfie. lol.
I love me some hammock sun time!
While I was driving back, I got rear ended on the interstate. No one was harmed. My car did get frame damage and was later deemed totaled. 2020 strikes again. This trip was helpful. I really thought through how the 7/15 deadline went. It was a catalyst for me deciding I wanted to take a step back from being solely CPA career focused. I committed to myself to find a way to adjust my life to create more space for me.
Sidebar: In other life news, I finished Stephen King's Dark Tower series. I was reading it with my partner Jeffery based on this list which includes a couple other of King's work. I really enjoyed the series and miss my book friends Jake, Oy, Roland, Eddie, and Susanna now in the spirit of October spookiness I am in The Shining.
Work: Work takes a large portion of the Sarah Time Pie; and depending on the time of year, it can feel at times like all I really do is sleep and work.
I am a Certified Public Accountant (CPA) and work as a Tax Director at a national accounting firm, and I am writing this portion of my post on October 16th, the day after my last major deadline. This year has stretched me at work, but so have the past few years. At times it's felt inevitable that I would have to leave my firm because I felt like I couldn't do as well as I'd like despite all my best efforts.
My work has two general busy seasons; the spring around the first set of tax deadlines 3/15 and 4/15 and the fall where we have the extended due dates on 9/15 and 10/15. Usually during these months, quite a bit of life has to be put on pause due to long hours, working weekends, etc. This isn't a complaint; it's just a fact of how I have to function. This is the "nature of the business". I am compensated well for the heavy months and my off months are pretty chill. But this year especially, I have felt this pull and push internally as I have struggled to stay consistent with this space and with having time to design and create art during busy seasons. I was left feeling like in order to do well I would have to choose to be either Sarah the CPA or Sarah the creative and came out realizing I can be both.
I have invested a lot of time and energy into growing my professional career. I also very much value the relationships I have with my co-workers and clients. I have had more tear-filled conversations with my career coach and tax office lead in the last two years than I have in the 7 years I have been with my firm. Even though I have had lows with work, I do still enjoy being an accountant.
I am very grateful for the company that I work with, they offer a variety of work arrangements/career paths to help fit our peoples passions and needs. I made the decision to reduce my workload for 2021. You might have read that and thought "ok whatever", LOL, but this is actually a kinda big deal for me. Mostly because it involved me telling my team I needed a change, and one of the initial feelings I kept coming back to was feeling like failure. I felt like I failed to be the best director and make it all work at once. I failed my team by telling them I want to help out less (especially knowing there are times of the year we are stretched thin as a department). I have worked hard to advance to the title I am at, and I felt kinda embarrassed to say I want less work so I can have more room for art. Not that there is anything wrong with an art related profession.
Remember I mentioned therapy, I'm a little insecure about the things I make. I know I am good at being an accountant but I don't know if people will want what I make.
Having worked through some of those feeling, it doesn't really come down to success or failure. Framing things in those black and white terms is polarized thinking. My perceived short comings in work are not failures but me still learning through experience. A schedule change doesn't make me less of a professional. Wanting to make art doesn't make me less of a professional. I am just me, and I am just taking steps to do what I want in life. My focus is on personal progress and growth. Go team Sarah.
thumbs up, very cool!